At Her Bedside
by nighttimerunner
Summary: "It surprises him that they're talking about this, considering their track record. "You remember?" he asks, letting her take the lead." An AU take on the events of 4x01 'Rise' when Castle goes to see Beckett at the hospital.


**A/N: I received a prompt (at the end) from Anon **_**ages**_** ago on Tumblr. I'm sorry for taking this long to fill the prompt. **

**This is an AU version of the events in 4x01 'Rise' when Castle goes to visit Beckett at the hospital.**

**Lou, thank you so much for being my beta on this and not letting me cut corners when I was being lazy. You are the Bestest and I love you! :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them.**

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"You tried to save me," she says, breaking the momentary silence between them.

His stare is obviously making her uncomfortable, but he can't help it. For the last two days, he has been haunted by the memory of her lying unconscious on the grass, with blood smearing her uniform. He's desperate to replace that image. And Kate, even when dressed in a hospital gown, hair in a messy braid and looking exhausted, is beautiful. Because she's alive.

He had never lost all hope, but he had watched her die in the ambulance, had listened to Lanie's frantic pleas as she had tried to keep their friend alive. And as more time had passed with no news on her, it had been harder to cling on to his usual optimism. Even when Jim had called to inform him that Kate was awake, some of the doubt had still lingered. Only after seeing her sitting up in the hospital bed, smiling at him, had he believed the words. She had made it.

"Yeah, I, uh…" It surprises him that they're talking about this, considering their track record. "You remember?" he asks, letting her take the lead.

"Some of it is still a bit blurry, but I remember standing on the podium and then you tackling me to the ground. I don't recall hearing the shot or the moment the bullet hit me, but I remember the pain." She lifts her right hand to curl at her chest, fisting the fabric of her gown above her heart. Her eyes are brimming with tears and when she blinks, one drop escapes and trails down her cheek.

Seeing her relive the pain is too much for him and he averts his eyes; the guilt of being too slow, of putting her in the crosshairs in the first place is gnawing at him. He will never be able to make it up to her – or her father – but he will spend the rest of his life trying.

He's searching for the right words to apologize when she speaks again.

"I remember what you said." Her voice is quiet, the sentence almost lost in the bustle of the hospital around them, and he looks at her to make sure he didn't imagine them.

_Oh._

She's worrying her lower lip with her teeth, a nervous habit he usually finds adorable – and sometimes more than a little hot – but now it can only mean one thing.

"Look, Kate, we can just forget I said anything. I understand. You have just been shot and have a long and difficult recovery ahead of you. You have more important things to worry about than my-"

"Marry me?" she cuts him off abruptly.

_What?_

Two hours ago he didn't even know if she was alive, wasn't sure if she'd heard his declaration of love. And given their history, he was prepared to never talk about it again, even after he knew she would recover.

And now she's asking him to marry her.

He's dreamed about them getting engaged – especially after _that kiss_ – but usually the fantasies involve an intimate dinner at a quiet restaurant, a walk on the beach at the Hamptons or chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne by the fireplace. Not even his overactive imagination could have come up with a scenario like this, with her lying on a hospital bed after getting shot. Still, he's tempted to ask her to pinch him.

She's staring at him with wide eyes and looking like the perfect example of a deer in the headlights. Obviously he isn't the only one surprised by the proposal. Her hand is covering her mouth as if she's trying to keep the words from escaping. But it's too late. The words are out and they both heard them loud and clear, even if he has trouble believing his ears.

"Did you just-"

"I think I did," she says, but it sounds almost like a question. "I'm-"

"Yes." It's his turn to cut her off.

"Yes? As in yes, you will-"

"Yes," he says again. He has never been more sure of anything.

She's still looking at him with wide eyes. Her lips are slightly parted, as if she's about to say something, but no sound comes out.

"Unless you want to take it back," he tries to laugh it off, when her silence continues, but his chuckle sounds too dry even to his own ears.

The sound of the door opening draws his gaze away from her face momentarily and his eyes follow as a nurse enters the room. Was it only five minutes ago that he had walked through that same door, relieved to see her again? If only he could go back to that moment again.

He's contemplating his next action when a hand covers his, gentle fingers brushing over his knuckles, making him aware of the death grip he has on the bed railing. Turning to look at her, he twists his hand around and captures her fingers before she has a chance to withdraw them.

Her touch, and the warmth it ignites inside him, seals his decision: He isn't going to let her sweep this under the rug. Not this time.

He squares his shoulders, prepared to stand his ground, but she's speaking before he can open his mouth.

"No, I meant it. Although, the timing could have been a bit better, like after we'd been on some dates at least. And maybe you could be the one doing the official proposing with the ring and everything, but I did mean it."

He's at a loss for words after she finishes, the emotional rollercoaster making him dizzy. He's staring at her again, still half convinced that it's all a dream. There's a faint blush coloring her cheeks and her hazel-green eyes shine like they did before Raglan's call started this all.

She looks happy.

After a couple of false starts, he finds his voice again. "That's good... Because I meant it, too. And don't worry, I'll get down on one knee and give you a ring."

They stare at each other with matching grins. Now would be the perfect time to kiss her, but the monitors by her bed make him apprehensive. So he lifts her hand to his lips instead, keeping his eyes on her the entire time.

She's looking at his mouth when his lips touch the cool skin just above her knuckles, and her gaze follows the movement when he sandwiches her hand between both of his so that only the tips of her fingers are visible.

He places a kiss on the tip of her pinky before moving on to the next finger, his lips lingering a little longer on each digit. He wants to savor the feel of her soft skin against his lips the best he can in this situation. One day in the near future she will be lying in a different bed – naked – while he worships every inch of her body with his mouth. The darkening of her eyes when they flicker up to his and her quiet whimper as he nips gently at the pad of her forefinger, tell him that her thoughts are not far from his.

He's always been easily affected by her. An accidental brush of their fingers when he's handing her a coffee sends sparks down his spine and a suggestive comment or a flirty smile from her can render him speechless. But until now, she has seemed mostly unaffected.

Of course there has been an occasional shiver when his fingers have brushed her neck as he's helped with her coat and sometimes her breath catches when he leans in close to look at a file. But never before has she showed her desire for him so openly. The _hunger_ in her eyes matches the one burning inside him and one thing's for sure.

They're going to be amazing together.

"Just…" Her voice is husky with arousal and she clears her throat before continuing. "Just… soon, okay? I think we've wasted enough time already."

And they have. So many missed opportunities, so many nights spent with other people...

"Wait… What about Josh?" he remembers suddenly, his mood deflating as the reality crashes down on him. But she simply smiles at him.

"We were over a long time ago, but I ended it officially when my Dad told me what he had said to you."

He shrugs and smiles ruefully. The surgeon's words have been echoing in his head ever since they were uttered. They have reminded him of how many lives were affected when he began investigating her mother's case. If his family hadn't interfered, he would have let Josh give him a good beating. God knows he deserved it.

"This wasn't your fault." Her voice is strong, leaving no room for argument.

"I know," he says, hoping that someday he'll believe the words. He drops his gaze to study the hand he is still holding. It's so small, his hand engulfing her slender fingers, and it amazes him how someone can be so fragile and strong at the same time.

"Castle," she says squeezing his fingers to gain his attention. "I would've reopened my mom's case sooner or later, even if we'd never met. The only difference is that now I had a partner by my side. A partner who pulls me back when I fall too deep and brings light when things get too dark. A partner who I trust… and love."

His eyes snap up to hers at that, but she's not finished.

"And one day I'm going to catch my shooter and find the bastards behind my mom's murder. And I'll have my husband with me when I do," she finishes with a grin, her tongue peeking out between her teeth.

A smile breaks across his face, his cheeks aching from being stretched so wide. But he has no hope of controlling his smile. Not when hers is just as wide and directed at him.

She loves him.

She's not the kind of person to open up to other people easily, he'd learned that early on and it's an honor to be the one she trusts her heart with. Warmth he hasn't felt in a long time spreads inside him. He has built his own wall around his heart over the years, but she had bulldozed right through the bricks and captured his heart. It had been scary as hell, but judging by the way she's looking at him right now, he has nothing to worry about in the future.

God, he can't wait until he can kiss her properly.

Apparently she can't wait either, because she lets go of his hand and reaches out to curl her fingers around the lapel of his jacket. And when she tugs gently, he follows willingly. He leans forward with one hand on the bed, supporting his weight, and the other cradling her cheek. He searches her eyes for any signs of discomfort, but finds only eager anticipation, so he closes the remaining gap between them and kisses her.

It's just a soft press of his lips on hers, so different from their first kiss all those months ago, but it makes him dizzy just the same. Her eyes stay closed, lips slightly puckered, when he pulls away after a short moment, and he can't resist leaning back in. He pecks her lips once, twice, three times until their grins make any more kisses impossible.

It's not the passionate liplock he'd always envisioned for their first _real_ kiss, but any kind of kiss with her is perfect.

Besides, they have a lifetime of kisses ahead of them.

**End.**

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**Prompt:** **(Beginning of Season 4) Beckett tells Castle that she remembers everything and she asks him to marry her, she tells him that they wasted enough time already (HAPPY ENDING);]**


End file.
